What the hell did I just play? Robot Unicorn Attack 2

by Gaetano 'Xbot' Prestia Featured 18 Comments 20 Votes 14237 Views 30/04/2013 Back to ArticlesiPadiPhone

After playing Robot Unicorn Attack 2, a game that challenges my very existence, I now know what my childhood was missing: unicorns. Lots and lots of unicorns.

While randomly sifting through the endless universe that is the App Store, I came across something glorious: an epic tale of sacrifice, love, revenge and relationships.

Also, flying whales. And laser-shooting robots. Oh, and fairies. Lots and lots of fairies. And pink mountains.

Flying whales and shit, yo!

Someone asked me to sum up Robot Unicorn Attack 2 in a short sentence. I said: “Endless erraticness fueled by a senseless desire to control the world and everything in it.”

Then someone asked me to sum up Robot Unicorn Attack 2 in an action. I did this:

Then someone asked me to find the human equivalent of Robot Unicorn Attack 2. Nicki Minaj. No doubt about it.

Then someone asked me to compare Robot Unicorn Attack 2 to a human emotion. I said self-loathing, maybe even racial self-hatred.

Then someone asked me to associate Robot Unicorn Attack 2 to an important social event. I said, “Anything underground, and anything where pants aren’t involved.”

Then someone asked me if they should download Robot Unicorn Attacks 2.

I said yes.

And the heavens opened, the seas bubbled boiling hot, and the angels fell. And then Robot Unicorn appeared and said, “Download me, for I am God.”

Amen.

PS. I still don’t know what I just played.

The best game you'll ever play is now available on the App Store. It's free, but upgrades and music come with a price. Like your soul.

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What the hell did I just play? Robot Unicorn Attack 2 Comments

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Tano
+
What the hell did you just read?
THERE'S A SEQUEL?!
ALLLLLLLLWAAAAAAYSSSSSSS
*_* *_* *_* *_* *_*
What the hell did I just play? Robot Unicorn Attack 2
Oh its so full of crazy stuff how can you not like the game? Its amazing, I mean a trail of rainbow fart, what else is better?
Just played it, deleted it after 1 go
What.. in....the... hell, did I just read, and see.... is this for real or am I hallucinating!? =_=
Atar
+
lol good read made me lol irl
Man, as if your jizzed out FB status wasn't enough.

Loupek said: Just played it, deleted it after 1 go





Kenni said: Man, as if your jizzed out FB status wasn't enough.



It's never enough.
Is it actually any different to RU1?
Tano's finally cracked it.

Matteh said: Is it actually any different to RU1?



Nah.

Gryllis said: Tano's finally cracked it.



Oh wow, you were there when this happened?
This is the best piece of journalism you've ever written.

iamtom said: This is the best piece of journalism you've ever written.



I've done journalism in the past? Linkage brah.
Why is this not on the play store? What the hell did I just play? Robot Unicorn Attack 2

stublu said: Why is this not on the play store?



It is not worthy.

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